coffee steak and tears

i think jack kerouac could maybe have taken this on a bit better than me, but nonetheless i am going to give it a shot- my writing tends to take on the form of stream of consciousness, and when i just let my mind relax into, it my hands can truly become an extension of my heart even if they are typing and creating and translating onto a screen although i do prefer a ball-point pen and acid-free paper.  poetry is sometimes the easier venue, and sometimes a just ramble will do the trick...maybe a bit of both- 

the feeling of coffee in my gut right now actually brings me back to that wet tuesday morning among the ponderosa pines, the lone woman (of which there is no doubt i am proud) amongst my tears and the tears of 6 men.  its not very often that a sacred experience such as that invites you to sit in on its sacred circle.
how lucky we are, the thought and truth of all of us present in that extended moment.  i walked in on a cloud of smoke from the grill upon which steaks were being prepared for a hardy last breakfast with derek daley.  it is also the last time i will sit in that circle next to the cabin with my love, evan, and trusty co-workers/friends billy, hunter, karl, wes... we are all embarking on transition, the edge of newness, the extenstion of our boundaries and comfort zones-the feeding frenzy for the soul- the image of each of us riding into the sunset on a trusty steed was planted in my head yesterday as hunter composed his version of coffee steak and tears, and the fact that we were all given a willow spirit horse, a little gift, a little common token of gratitude and connection. 
it all started in circles, for all of us as we began our journey at open sky.  different circles at different times, and we all communed together "a community from within" in this one circle, the pinnacle of our time at open sky, the opening of our hearts, the relaxation of our indigenous wild spirits in the place they are most welcome.  i speak for everyone in this moment because this was my genuine experience of this particular circle, and i come back to speaking only for myself.

how lucky am i?
to be a raw witness and
witness the raw, and
be a seeker of truth among
other truth seekers

and walk a path paved
by orion himself in the
delaying darkness of a tuesday
dew morning

and be on the brink of
change
and watch changing
men walking
the path paved by the setting
sun and rising
smoke

keep accepting the
invitation to
sit in circles

keep pushing your
boundaries and
exploring the
feeding frenzy of the soul

open your eyes to tears

open your ears to the breeze

i love you all.
thank you for sharing yourselves with me.