vacation has been interesting and fulfilling thus far. i am currently sitting in the exact spot i wrote countless high school papers. ofcourse the computer has changed, given the approximate three year life span and the approximate 7 years that it has been since i left new hampshire. but aside from the colors on the walls, and a few peices of furniture, this house still feels the same in mid-june as it always did. although i would fight to the death to deny it, there is a part of my soul that feels really saturated with being here. the green, the humidity, the mists of the ocean have become so unfamiliar to me in the red sands of colorado. there, i jump up and down at the sight of riparian environment, the discovery of a new river, any moisture i can find; here, it is all around me, bursting and lush. my dad's garden is still moist from getting watered a few days ago; we wouldn't have to water seedlings three times a day to support growth like we do in the desert, everything lives with a different kind of ease here. although, i don't remember it being easy...
it is kind of a trip thumbing through old pictures of myself, old stories i wrote, journal entries filled with darkness and woe and insecurity from the extensive exhausting dramatic episodes of my teenage years. needless to say, things have gotten a bit better since then. even in recent years, visiting "home" has always been a chore, but not today, today it feels good, my roots are still in tact, although it's only been 24 hours.
