shock, maybe is why i haven't sprawled myself out in the denver airport in hysterics screaming "WHY HAVE I LEFT THE ONLY PLACE I EVER CONSIDERED HOME?!?!" and yes this morning as the sun was rising i took my last look west at the la platas for atleast three months... leaving my dog, my lover, my job, my community, in a slightly romanticized lone search of healing and spiritual growth. flying over durango, i could see it all and the memories that went with each and every bit of landscape- the animas, silver, hogs back, the sleeping ute, mesa verde, durango lake, the great sweep of utah desert, i could practically pick out every house i have ever live in in durango, including the shallow canyone of lightner creek, i could practically see evan parking his car in front of his house, walking with a certain lightness to his step into his house to cuddle little bear for a moment, before making the first in a series of pots of tea for the day with intermittent interruptions to shoot his newly strung recurve... a block rises in my throat, but no tears yet... maybe i will forget to cry them by the time i get to hawaii and am swept away by hibiscus scented thick humid air and ocean foam on my naked body. probably not.
now i sit in the denver airport- amongst a sea of people awaiting to go on their vacation in hawaii-yes they are the people you expect still wearing their denver zoo t-shirts, and over-sized paisley purses and three backpack wearing kids- and yes i sound judgemental and i am just trying to help paint the picture. I could elaborate but i won't. i am sitting here with my computer and headphones, listening to the same songs over and over again, humming louder than i can actually tell, and cynically wishing they had something better for me to eat than a ten dollar soggy salad before i board the 7 hour flight. oh well, woe is me right? i am on my way to hawaii, where aside from hibiscus and ocean foam, i will be blessed and welcomed with the presence of my best friend, and i am sure mangos, avocados, coconut water galore when i land.
well here goes nothing... like this morning when i closed my eyes as the sun was rising to welcome the new day, and took the leap onto the airplane, i close my eyes and step onto my non-stop flight to kona.
thank you durango-friends, community, evan, open sky, mentors, teachers, love-i could go on and on and on...
'till next time.
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