so today is one of those times where i feel like i almost can't pinpoint exactly what i want to write and i feel like could write so much because it has been so long since i last posted an entry and thus i have no idea where to begin and at the same time feel like i could go on forever. hmmm... deep breath maybe?
the marathon. what an experience. i was a true witness to the battle between the body and the mind.
the race started out in the dark... after waking up at 2:45, we all hopped on a school bus at around 3:30 in the morning, and were carted to the starting line. nerves awry, hearts pounding, stuffing in that last bit of "clif-blok" to get us through the first couple hours we lined up next to eachother, holding hands... the five of us seemingly blond in a sea of japanese people. the exhilarating feeling of being the minority and being at the start of a 26 mile race was soon catalyzed by a firework display that marked the start of the time. tears rolling down our cheeks we began to make our way slowly to the start. unsure of what the next six hours of our lives were going to look like, unsure if we were gonna stick together for the whole of it, unsure what was to happen next.
and then we were off- funneled through the starting line like lil' coffee cherries starting off their process of making their way into your cup... and after mile two i was without all the loved ones i came to honolulu with. i was all alone, and yet surrounded by a sea of people, ebbing and flowing around me. there were moments in the morning darkness in which all i could hear was the sound of 28,000 people's feet hitting the pavement around me. it was our morning heartbeat, propelling us forward through the darkness, and through all the stoplights, changing on their own accord. and then i watched the light turn blue, and from their i could see little splashes of sun making their way onto the horizon as people reminiscent to fans, started to make their way through the cracks in the sidewalks to cheer us on with all of their might!
the light brightened, and i thought about all the people back at home, and in hawaii that i love... mile 13.1 passed and i came to the conclusion that i had actually been training for a half marathon, not a full 26.2 mile marathon. but still, despite the pain in my knees, and the sharp pain in my right hip-flexer i kept on. determined by something other than myself to finish. my mind went through its usual array of insults, as i knew i would be the last of my friends to make it across the finish line, and my body felt like it was starting to deteriorate into the pavement with every lift and fall of my feet. but still i kept on. and then something changed. around mile 18, when i knew i was over the hump, and all at once felt sure that i wouldn't make it another step, something in my little mind's eye starting saying, "you can do it meg, you can do it. don't stop, you got this" and i kept on and on and on for 8.2 more miles, and realized that it was my mind telling me not to stop, encouraging me further and further, even though my body surely couldn't make it, not one more step... and i came to the last mile... my pace actually picking up underneath my torso, my arms getting into a larger swing until i was once again surrounded by these "fans" cheering me through the last couple steps, and i broke out into a full sprint to the end... and then walked to a spot in the grass and collapsed, somehow found by three other friends, in the same amount of pain, happy to see that i had finished, and ready to get a free shiatsu massage. its funny because my mind quickly assumed its normal role, "eh i'm not sure that was good enough meg, your time is a tad embarrassing, don't walk around too proud.." but now i am telling that part to shove it, i finished 26.2 miles in 5hours51seconds, and well, i am proud. and that being said, i wanna do better next time... :)
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